Immortal revamped
by Silphie Alicia Lennet
Summary: Hello there, S.A.L. here, I've given quite a few critques on this story and I thought I'd show what a real goth girl can do!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the canon characters. They are the work of J.K. Rowling. The non-canon characters are not mine either; they belong to xxxbloodthirsty666xxx.

I'm redoing this because I want to show what a real goth girl can do. Not to mention I just want to! Flames as well as anything you things I should add in are welcome. I have no problem with your opinions.

My Immortal (revamp)

Chapter One : Train Ride

The train began to move as I found an empty cabin. After I put my luggage away someone opened the door. "Sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here." I nodded at the meek boy. His brown hair was a mess and glasses tilted to the side, he's probably bee running. Then I noticed the scar on his forehead, a lightning bolt.

"So you're Harry Potter. Thought you'd be a little more… well, not like this," I studied him and he gulped. After a few glances outside, he sat down.

"You have a strange accent, are you from the Americas?" Harry asked me. I had talked to Draco Malfoy threw letters since moving to New York. He'd mention Harry a few times, not in the best light. "I was born in Manchester but moved to New York when I was eleven. They wanted me to go to Bedwrys School of Magick. I know a few of the people in Ravenclaw and Slytherin, but not many." What I said made him only more nervous. Then someone yelled, "Where are you Potter? You won't get away this time?" I looked at him and he visibly cringed. The cabin door slid open. A girl with rather frizzy brow hair walked in, followed by a redheaded boy with lots of freckles. Draco had mentioned them before, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, "What happened?"

Harry shouted in his defense, "Fred and George did it! Not me!" At this point I was at a complete loss. Then a fourth figure walked in. The cabin was getting quite claustrophobic. All I could see of the fourth figure was light blonde hair and fair skin. I mumbled to my self, "Draco?" Harry stood up and Ron and Hermione tried to keep Draco away. Draco had Harry by the collar and Harry took a swing at swing at Draco barely missing his eye. Draco backed off, "Bloody hell!" I tried my hardest not to laugh. I really did. I had known Draco a long time ago. He was never half as strong as he portrayed but twice as conniving. Then something in me clicked and I burst out into laughter while Harry was explaining something to Draco. Draco glared at me, "Why you! My family could… Ravenna?" (a/n: Please don't get to angry at me. This is a real name. I thought it better than calling her "Raven" or "Ebony.")

"In the flesh! I'm transferring. Mum decided she was going to move back to Manchester with or with my father" The laughing stopped and I couldn't help but smile. "Draco Malfoy getting his ass kicked by Harry Potter, my friends at Bedwrys are going to love this." For a moment Draco forgot about Harry and his friends. I glanced at Harry and he quickly left. Draco stood up strait, still clutching his left eye.

"Poor baby. Left me help you," my voice dripped with sarcasm. I grabbed my wand and made him remove his hands from his eye. Rolling my eyes, I put my wand away. A little bruise, he deserved the pain. "You aren't going to heal it?" Healing was my specialty. I was a huge tom boy growing up and I got a lot of cuts and a few broken bones. My mother finally gave me a list of healing spells to carry around with me. Since then I've memorized each spell. A girl came into the cabin and latched onto Draco's arm. I've see her before. Her name was Pansy Parkinson. She sized me and then turned to Draco like I wasn't a threat. Ah, delusions of grandeur. Like hell I'm not a threat! Whatever. Draco gave me a look that said help me and I didn't do a thing. Pansy made him leave. You stirred the snakes, now sleep with them.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two : Sorting Hat

I hummed "Broken Promises For Broken Hearts" by She Wants Revenge as the first years and transfer students got escorted to the dining hall. I was a fifth year and there wasn't another transfer student in fifth year so I stayed to myself. We walked under a large gothic arch. Bedwrys hadn't been this grandiose and it was a red crick building that didn't look like a school. Inside was a different story. A large wooden stair case greeted when you entered. The headmaster's office and rooms strictly for teachers lined the right hall and on the left were first year classrooms. On the second floor second and third years shared classrooms and dorms. On the third floor fourth and fifth years shared dorms and classrooms. The same system was from the sixth and seventh years on the fourth floor. On the fifth floor had the green house, a music room, and a room for defense against the dark arts class. On the roof was the owl house. Our quidditch field is in upstate New York; about a half hour by broom. I'm getting homesick already.

Each of us went in front of the school to have the sorting hat put on us. It was embarrassing for a lot of the new Hufflepuff members. At Bedwrys we didn't have a sorting hat this one. It was more of a boulder top hat thingy. It was strange. The sorting hat was placed on my head. It thought out loud, "Quite the change of heart, GRYFFINDOR!" The Gryffindor table cheered. I walked to them, glancing at Draco. I haven't seen him look that disappointed since I moved away. To damn bad. I sat next to Hermione and who I assumed to be Ginny Weasley. "Yes! Another girl." The Weasley twins chimed. A few griffindors looked at me.

"Thank you for the train... um…" Harry began and I laughed, "My name is Ravenna Way. My friends call me Raven." I told them a bit about myself and about New York. They had never had a North American student save a Canadian student that was only here for year. It was fun until we had to go to our rooms. That's when Ginny asked me, "What was that look Malfoy gave you?" I gave a nervous laugh. That's when everyone tuned into our conversation.

"Our families are friends. Father got an offer from some guy in New York and we moved. Mum wanted me to go to Hogwarts but had to settle for Bedwrys. Draco and I had grown up together. It was hard when on him when I left." Then it got uncomfortable and a few of the guys left. The girls got closer to me as I told stories. Harry, Ron, and the twins listened to a few stories where I had to defend Draco. They had a good laugh until the girls forced me to tell the more sappy stories. I think they liked hearing that he is a lot more human than he appears. Eventually the hype died down and I had a chance to escape. Students aren't allowed out past curfew but I really needed room to breath.

Cold air rushed into my lungs. It was almost painful. I walked around the grounds, trying to dodge the teachers and ghosts. Some how Draco found me. "What did the sorting hat mean by change of heart? Your mother informed us you would definitely be in the Slytherin house. You were in Eaglewood the equivalent of Slytherin. What happened?" He backed me into a corner. "Raven, answer me. What did the sorting hat mean by change of heart?"

I lowered my eyes, "When I was in New York I met a lot of fake people. It was hard. I started realizing what my father was really doing. I hated how mother thought nothing of it. So I had a change of heart. I couldn't do it, couldn't agree with what our families were doing." He lifted my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. "What was I supposed to do? Act like everything was alright? Fake emotions for fake people? I had to convince my mother to go back to Manchester. I wanted, no needed to be me. If you can't…" His lips met mine. For a second I almost gave in but pushed him away. "You've changed Draco. You're not the boy I knew. Sorry." I wrapped myself in my jacket and walked past him. By the time I back to the dorm everyone was asleep. I rested my head on the pillow. This didn't feel like home.


	3. Chapter 3

Ya'll holler if you want more! I'm having fun with this!

Chapter Three : Classes

Classes were held the next day. I had gotten little sleep and I could tell Harry didn't get much either. I talked to him after breakfast, "You don't look so well."

"Oh, Raven. I didn't sleep well." Harry tried to talk around the issue but I knew better. "Neither did I. Kept having these dreams." Harry looked at me and I smiled knowingly. If he wouldn't open up then I'd have to help him. I put eggs and bacon on my plate and began to eat. Hermione sat next to me while chewing Ron's ear off. He gave us a pleading look. Ginny, now sitting next to Harry giggled. They would make cute couples. I smiled and Hermione looked at me, "What? Is there egg on my face?" I shook my head. A presence stood behind me and I decided it was best to ignore it, do I did. I heard Pansy's grating voice, "What were you doing with my boyfriend last night?"

I gave a wicked smile, "Making up for lost time. Forgot what a great kisser he was. You might want to watch your back Pansy, you have competition now." I got up to face her. "See you in guys in first period. Bye Pansy." I left her in my wake. There are days when being a bitch just feels right and today was one of those days.

I almost got lost on my way there but with the help of Cho Chang I got there. She was quite nice if not a little reserved. Her crush on Harry could ruin Ginny's chances. I'd have to change that. Dear God, I'm changing into my Nana. My Nana took care of me when I was younger, like a nanny. She liked to play matchmaker. Funny how I take after her more then my own parents. I sat next to Hermione in potions. I never had been the greatest at it and Harry was getting chewed out by Snape. Why do Slytherins always seem to have a chip on their shoulders? Our next class was Transfiguration. This time Harry was trying his hardest but Ron ended up with a pig nose, tail, and ears. It was funny but then Ron got angry and tried to turn Harry into some obscure animal. Divination was seemingly long. Tea leaves were not as interesting as my old teacher Ms. Désirée who said half of her lecture in French. In Herbology Neville won 20 points for Gryffindor for his knowledge. Poor kid, he looks ill 24/7. Defense Against the Dark Arts class was interesting. Pansy challenged me to a duel. "You what?"

"I, Pansy Parkinson, challenge you, Ravenna Way, to a duel!" I was surprised to say the most. I knew she was stupid, just not this level of idiocy.

"Okay… I, uh, accept?" I wasn't sure what to say. Although, I liked the idea of kicking her ass. "AVIS!" She yelled before we even started. I used a cushioning charm to break my fall and used a disarming spell then yelled, "Densaugeo!" Her teeth grew and she freaked out. I laughed as the teacher sent her to the nurse and then took 20 points from Gryffindor. It was totally worth it.

At dinner Fred and George enjoyed the story. They thought it was worth it too. After dinner Draco confronted me. "If this about Pansy or me being in Gryffindor I'll smack you. I've getting tired of games Draco." He smirked, "You didn't find me playing doctor when were kids."

"Back off big boy before that ego of yours becomes too big for you head. For your knowledge that was when we were seven and you just wrapped a piece of cloth around my ankle. You were as good a doctor as you were at defending yourself. You probably don't even know how to get to my… Why am I even having this conversation with you?" He laughed and I gave him a look that made him stop.

"I wanted to talk to you about our fathers. They seem to be planning something. Both of us are going to be there. I wanted to know if you had any information. And what you did to Pansy, that was pretty good. I know you had it in you." I rolled my eyes and began to walk off, "No, I don't know what out fathers are planning, but it can't be good." I left him and ran to my room to write a letter to Nana. If anyone would know it would be her.


End file.
